10/2/2024 11 AM

No longer sick, yay! Overall, being sick sucked BUT hung out with partner yesterday quite a bit and watched a dumb amazing movie with a fantastic commentary on classism and the death of the middle class with the growing divide between those on the top and those on the bottom. Watch it here! Today, I think will be a pretty good day.

I get to go hang out with my girlfriend and I also have to do my estrogen injection. Often I am horrible at remembering this which is weird since when I first started, I was so excited to do so every day and still, I get so excited to do so. Maybe it's just because it has become routine so it has, in many ways, lost the excitement. But the joy is definitely still there. I also think that I notice small changes since starting estrogen and my joy comes from that rather than the actual ritual of transformation. If that makes sense.

I often consider writing more about being trans, a book, a series of posts discussing my transition, etc. but also, would anybody read it? Is that even the point? Often the idea of "Would anybody even watch/read/listen" gets in the way of my creation of art, and honestly, I have got to get that out of my head. I have so many songs made, short stories written, ideas for videos and short films, and yet none of it is shared or polished because I get myself thinking about the spread of the art as opposed to thinking about the art itself.

I think this site is helping me with that. I don't really care if people see this, I made this site for myself and maybe I'll post my music, share my writing, make videos to post here. But still, fear of it being "good" is overwhelming and will always be there.

But at the same time, I have a voice and things to share.

So stick around, maybe I'll post something soon.

9/30/2024 9 AM

Well, day two of being really sick so I am once again gonna send the whole day working on my website so that's pretty exciting!

Not sure how to do like a nice blog set up so, for now, we've got this static page that I will just add to. Hope to change that one day honestly. Anyways, I feel like garbage and didn't end up going to bed until 5 AM and woke up at 7 AM so, here we are!

I should probably talk more about my life beyond the last couple days, have y'all get to know me beyond being some sick girl, huh?

A couple of weeks ago, I lost my job. Well, correction, I failed a drug test and eventually get to go back, that just hasn't happened yet.

I'm trying to find a new job but damn, that's hard. It's hard for a girl out here. Two weeks before this, I had become homeless after my parents kicked me out. I have been living with one of my partners! But not working has really taken a toll on my mental health.

Anyways, that's all for now! Hope y'all are enjoying my site!